I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
