....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
