i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
