just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
