It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
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i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
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Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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