Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
