All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize