my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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