Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
