Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
