What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
