Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?

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(207): I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend? http://tfl.nu/xxqb

Replies (49) Good night (909) Bad night (2896)
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(513): View more from Ohio

the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?

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(513): the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts? http://tfl.nu/aqwb

Replies (55) Good night (2320) Bad night (1352)
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(310): View more from California

My entire life is one complicated drinking game

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(310): My entire life is one complicated drinking game http://tfl.nu/hoza

Replies (19) Good night (4192) Bad night (729)
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(562): View more from California

Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up

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(562): Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up http://tfl.nu/thrv

Replies (18) Good night (1138) Bad night (3610)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious

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(732): she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious http://tfl.nu/xtk1

Replies (47) Good night (2749) Bad night (11307)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.

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(860): his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate. http://tfl.nu/ds0z

Replies (14) Good night (928) Bad night (5228)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.

(616): View more from Michigan

The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...

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(616): I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself. (616): The wine tasting is just for charity anyways... http://tfl.nu/d1ju

Replies (3) Good night (2842) Bad night (794)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.

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(847): Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines. http://tfl.nu/j7ab

Replies (2) Good night (687) Bad night (2166)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.

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(501): Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money. http://tfl.nu/efs0

Replies (5) Good night (2291) Bad night (734)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.

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(701): Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore. http://tfl.nu/9hf8

Replies (5) Good night (1843) Bad night (564)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.

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(508): There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him. http://tfl.nu/gfad

Replies (7) Good night (1529) Bad night (871)
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(206): View more from Washington

But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.

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(206): But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness. http://tfl.nu/0ech

Replies (15) Good night (2949) Bad night (429)
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(813): View more from Florida

People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?

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(813): People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits? http://tfl.nu/du6g

Replies (6) Good night (3105) Bad night (613)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.

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(314): Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy. (1-314): And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever. http://tfl.nu/uu81

Replies (3) Good night (258) Bad night (695)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!

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(412): I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?! (412): Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?! http://tfl.nu/zxwf

Replies (2) Good night (480) Bad night (222)

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