Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.