Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?

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  (303): So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!? http://tfl.nu/9p3z
  Replies (17) Good night (818) Bad night (2515)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...

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  (217): I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs... http://tfl.nu/dm06
  Replies (53) Good night (4406) Bad night (817)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow

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  (202): no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow http://tfl.nu/mex5
  Replies (67) Good night (8637) Bad night (2130)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.

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  (864): so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence. http://tfl.nu/nvim
  Replies (20) Good night (7799) Bad night (1113)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior

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  (803): I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior http://tfl.nu/ap8i
  Replies (20) Good night (4251) Bad night (1325)
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  (415): View more from California

  my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked

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  (415): my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked http://tfl.nu/w9k0
  Replies (7) Good night (2798) Bad night (621)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.

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  (614): Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes. http://tfl.nu/ghhe
  Replies (13) Good night (590) Bad night (2296)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila

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  (607): I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila http://tfl.nu/x7nj
  Replies (6) Good night (635) Bad night (1537)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.

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  (281): If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/0of8
  Replies (14) Good night (3177) Bad night (560)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.

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  (412): I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing. http://tfl.nu/guzu
  Replies (11) Good night (565) Bad night (865)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.

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  (586): I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins. http://tfl.nu/rkqp
  Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (409)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.

  (1-606): View more from Kentucky

  At least that would be something.

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  (606): I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting. (1-606): At least that would be something. http://tfl.nu/23qn
  Replies (4) Good night (673) Bad night (343)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity

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  (414): Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity http://tfl.nu/984f
  Replies (4) Good night (482) Bad night (354)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality

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  (540): I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality http://tfl.nu/elez
  Replies (5) Good night (915) Bad night (287)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.

  (682): View more from Texas

  Congrats, you're all grown up now.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY

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  (817): I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt. (682): Congrats, you're all grown up now. (817): I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY http://tfl.nu/u445
  Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (297)

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