I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
