we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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