awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
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I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
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Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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