wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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