just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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