I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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