You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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