I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
