I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
