this must be what syphilis tastes like
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
