Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
