Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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