Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
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Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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