as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
