we made out on top of his cat.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
