Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
