when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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