I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
