I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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