I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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