So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize