he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
