It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
