The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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