We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You were trust falling into bushes
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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