well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
