Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
