My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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