I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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