Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
