i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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