i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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