halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize