Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
