thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
