Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
