I haven't been this sober since birth.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize