Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
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It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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