i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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