just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
