WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
