walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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