youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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