you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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