You're completely useless in the revolution.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize