I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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