I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i black out too much to be "responsible"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
