I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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