you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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