i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
