nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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