ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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