Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
