I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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