Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
