Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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